into the pit

i went with some care workers to visit the people who they call their beneficiaries. These people are the ones with AIDs and are given first priority for the anti-viral drugs.

Incredibly sad places that these people live in. A little shithole that is at most 8'x8'. It contains a mattress (maybe) and some sheets for sleeping. There maybe a small makeshift table &/or shelf. And in the corner, there is some type of cooking utensil. The walls are made out of mud and corrugated sheetmetal on a wood frame (they use branches and thin trunks), pieced together in a haphazard fashion. 5-7 of these home are joined together in a common area, usually with a common "courtyard" and washroom. There is also usually enclosed with a gate. A gated community, I suppose...

But what hits you is the smell. The air dusty, heavy and thick, pungent with an accumulation of sweat, garbage and spices. At first it repulses you. You suppress the urge to gag. After awhile, it just becomes part of the fabric of the landscape.

The poorest of the poor in Addis Ababa. Because there is such a stigma and miseducation regarding peoples with AIDs, they are highly ostracized. These are the people that SaLE help.

Many of these people had been occasional or full-time sex trade workers. They may have come from the country, &/or work in a job that doesn't pay enough. They may have had a baby or be pregnant with a kid by some guy that has taken off. They try to make some more money by hooking. Lots of men with AIDs that are too scared to be responsible and get tested, or, maybe they know. They're still horny as hell, so nothing like shelling out a few burr (Ethiopian currency) to get laid, usually without protection. Women are still more susceptible to contracting the disease so they get it. Maybe they're breast-feeding a baby and pass it on to their kid through the milk. Or maybe they just give birth after they contract the disease. They die, kid's left with the disease and no one to take care of them. Orphans that SaLE also tries to take care of.

It's sickening and depressing. It's not just me that feels that way. I asked some of the SaLE staff about that and listen to some of the kids.

The beneficiaries, the orphans, they suppress emotion around me (or any foreigners - we are too much of a novelty to them), but they are angry. One girl said that she can't talk about it because it just makes her angry. Well, I hope she does get angry and is able to process somehow. Shit! The ones that aren't angry seem to have lost hope and just accept their life with AIDs. I can see it in their eyes when I photograph them, when I come to their door and first see them. They have shit all and live in society where, lack of medical care aside, they are cast out because of their disease. Lepers of our generation.

But that wasn't the kicker for me today. Nope. Two things just kicked my ass and tore at my heart.

I met this one SaLE orphan kid when I first came. Great guy. Always smiling, always wanting to do things with me, wanting to get to know me. Positive and lots of energy. Once he knew my name, he always asked for me. Steve met him the last couple times he was in Ethiopia. Love being with the kid. Love him. SaLE orphan.

I found out he was tested for being HIV positive a little while ago. I didn't know the people that visited and photographed today. But I knew this kid.

It also dawned on me that some of these orphan kids and kids in the neighbourhood that come to use the SaLE facilities (library, study centre), the ones that I've gotten to know over the last week or so? Well, they just might be hooking at night to make ends meet.

I just stop thinking about and feeling it after a while. Even if a little part of me dies when I do.